Wednesday, May 20, 2009

What I noticed when I ran my first race... join me.

My alarm went off at 3:00am and I pondered what had I gotten myself into. Should I eat now, I have to meet my ride at 4:14 and I want to make sure I get done with my bodily functions before I head out. What if eating now is too soon and I won’t have enough energy?

So many thoughts are racing through my mind although I am surprisingly and methodically calm. I prepared everything last night so I wouldn’t take a chance on forgetting anything today. I know in my heart if I stay calm this will be pretty easy I just must stay grounded.

Even my dog Beau knows its okay to stay in her bed upstairs which is very unusual. She hunkers down and doesn’t even wake up when I return upstairs to brush my teeth. Seeing her sleeping peacefully is calming to me.

I had my banana and rice cake with peanut butter on it. I having been drinking water since I got up and praying it is the perfect amount, not too much so I’ll have to pee during the race or too little so that I will become weak.

I realize I forgot to remind the neighbor to feed Beau for me so run over at 3:30 to leave a post-a-note on his front door that I pray he will see when he gets his morning paper. I am still surprisingly calm.

I put my timing device around my ankle, gather up my things, make sure this throw away sweatshirt will slide easily over my head while running. (It is tradition to throw off your jacket or sweatshirt during your run and it is given to charity.) It is 47 degrees right now with a breeze.

I slowly back out of the driveway and as I pull out of the neighborhood I see a beautiful moon with Venus right next to it. How often are we up at 4:00am driving around; all is calm and very quiet.

I drive to the Target parking lot for the allotted meeting time with my ride downtown at 4:15. A car pulls in but it is not her, should I be nervous? Will she be late? The man in the car gets out he is dressed to run the race too. It seems many others are meeting here. Linda calls she is running late. I breathe and calm myself, all will be fine.

Linda arrives and we are on our way. I am still a little worried about restroom places so have her stop at a gas station on the way just to be safe. My nerves are starting to talk to me. As we get close to the race area I see many closed streets and for a moment wonder if we will find out way to the parking. Breathe…

We find the parking at the museum with no problem, it’s 4:45 and many others are sitting in the car staying warm. We have to walk about 15 minutes to get to the staging area. While sitting in the car I begin to feel my jaw clenching and I am starting to shake all over. I hold my hand up to Linda and it is trembling so hard she is stunned. She works hard to calm me down with lots of questions to distract me. It helps a little…

As we begin walking to the staging area there is excitement in the air and it is chilly with my shorts on. I am calmer now, it’s just the not knowing what to expect. I am big on control and I don’t have much right now. I breathe to get grounded and work to stay warm.

The race doesn’t start until 6:00 am but I was told to get there early by a friend that is also running, she told me it helps you to calm down. I have decided standing around is not going to be good for my legs or feet so I hunker down by a wall to try and get warm and relax by watching the others. Every shape, age and size is here. The energy is one of fun and anxious anticipation. I have been told once I cross the finish line I will be hooked and want to do many more. I’m hopeful that I will feel that way.

It’s 5:45 everyone is heading to the staging area. Shall I put myself in with the 12 minute mile group? I’m not sure, my friend Peggy tells me to do it I will be fine. I have been running anywhere between an 11-13 minute mile depending on the terrain.

It’s getting very crowded now; we are bunched up shoulder to shoulder. The Star - Spangled Banner is being sung. I have no idea what to expect I breathe to stay grounded. Have I really trained to do this? I take a moment to feel proud of myself. I have no doubt I can finish I just don’t know what it will be like or how I will feel.

The crowd starts to walk slowly pushing forward. I’m short I can’t see. I pray I don’t get swept into the Marathon crowd, how will I know which is which? We start to slowly run and I feel dizzy with all the bobbing bodies around me. I can’t see ahead or to the sides. I am a little bit freaked out the bobbing bodies make me feel strange and weightless. Am I going to faint?

Finally I see space, the park, the trees and there is room to spread out. I begin to calm down and remind myself to stay at my pace. People are flying by running to the front, wherever that is. They are in a panic to catch the front, I turn on my iPod and the first song is “Alright Now” I settle in for my adventure.

As we round the bend to start running up Colfax I look ahead and see people for miles, what an interesting experience. I have been told there will be water, gator-aide and port-a-potties along the way. I have no idea when or where. At about three miles I haven’t seen any of these. I have watched people run into gas stations go behind dumpsters and bushes and I think damn, I hope I don’t have to go that bad along the way!
I am very happy I have my water belt on with my own drink.

I see a McDonalds coming up and since I have been told that when the port-a-potties do appear they will be very crowded I decide to be safe and go into McDonalds even if I don’t have to pee yet. There is a line of 12 women already and only one stall the other is out of order. I say screw it after standing there for what seemed like 10 minutes I went into the one that was broken so I could get back out there!

I am now coming up on the first water station and have decided to only take water, no sports drinks since I have mine me. I walk and still spill on myself as I try to walk fast. It’s time to throw off my sweatshirt. I am happy it came up easily and didn’t slow me down.

The sun is up and there is a nice breeze. If I stay to the right there is shade from the buildings. Although I am learning it is smart to stay in the middle where the pavement is the most even. There are holes along the way and I am learning it is very important to look at the ground often so you know where you are stepping.

I know that we are running up Colfax to a Peoria Street and that the streets are in alphabetical order. I am getting excited because we are already to the M’s. Crap, I am wrong they quickly start over again at an A Street; I have a lot further to go than I thought. I have missed seeing some of the mile markers that are stuck to the pavement. Sigh…

I look way ahead and see what looks like a big hill with thousands of people running. Oh my, it’s not huge, but at six miles it is a hill. I am beginning to slow down and walk fast for about 30 seconds every mile to rest my legs. I want to finish strong without pain.

Wow, I am rounding the corner to start the slight downhill run back to the park. I see a guy beside me looking at his fancy watch and ask how far we have run. He tells me 7.1 miles and we are at a 12 minute mile pace. I am stunned; this is much faster than I thought, especially after the McDonalds fiasco. I am jazzed!

I prayed the breeze would change and be in our faces again for the run back and it is! The sun is now behind us and 17th Street is a beautiful tree lined place. I am feeling great although being very careful to eat my GU, drink my drink and now thinking about also eating some of the nuts I brought for protein. I want to make sure I am properly fueled. No running out of gas for this girl!

Before I know it I see the 11 mile mark. I have never run more that 10 miles in my training. I am still feeling great. While walking fast I call my mother so she won’t be so worried and tell her I am fine with only 2 miles to go. I also call Linda who is waiting for me at the finish line so she can watch for me.

I walk and run so that I will have the energy to run and look good coming to the finish. Everyone is getting excited and starting to run faster. I see a guy go flying by me, he is really fast. I hear them announce on the loud speaker that the first Marathon runner has just come in. I feel silly for a moment knowing he did 26 miles faster than my 13.1. Damn! I see the finish coming up I start to cry for a moment and then brush it off just happy to feel great and run across that line. Linda is there cheering and takes my picture. I DID IT!!!

I am not even tired; I stretch and walk around, eat a bit and then go look for my time. I finished 2:38.39 12:18 pace. Much faster than I imagined. Just think if I hadn’t stood at McDonalds so long. Oh well, something to shoot for next time.

It’s almost 7:00pm and I still feel great.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What I noticed today

It just occurred to me as I was revisiting my day that I started it differently. For some reason I was reminded while still laying in bed to balance my chakras. I have not thought to do this in months. My energy was terrific as I was getting ready. While styling my hair I thought back to Anita's comment about "IF". The fact that I always ask my client's, "What if?", took my energy through the roof where it has remained all day. I know that it is important for me to follow this energy and see where it takes me.

I looked back at the introduction I wrote for my book back in 2004 and it fit perfectly with the What If. Maybe I am the What If girl. It certainly starts a conversation. I also realized I have been trying to mold myself into the corporate world again and that's not who I am anymore. The most fun I have is telling people the what if stories of my life and my client's when I am speaking. That's my true joy. Why have I been trying to make myself wrong about that?

So from this day forward I will be reminding myself to just be who I am not what I think I need to be. As I am just perfect.

Monday, April 20, 2009

What I am noticing today

Today I am struggling with how I want to re-brand myself. Those of you that know me and have gotten my newsletters for years are aware that everything I do is tied to being clear with yourself and others. So what shall I call it? What am I? The word coach seems to be so overused. How funny that although I am all about clarity for others I am stuck creating it for myself!

Someone called me an authenticity broker the other day. Although true, it seems like a real mouthful. This doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. So I ponder, freedom leader, clarity revealer, hum….maybe the Aha girl. ;-) Oh this shouldn’t be that hard.

What are your ideas? I live from that place of clarity, truth, freedom, joy and empowerment. My life is about awaking others to their truth, freedom and joy. What shall I call myself other than a coach?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My trip to the gym yesterday was quite the journey. I was to run 4.5 miles for my half marathon training. I had eaten a good breakfast and was ready for a good run on the treadmill. The Universe seemed to have another plan... I started to run, felt weak and dizzy which made no sense to me since I thought I had fueled my body well. I took some deep breaths and forced myself to continue. After two miles, I just had to run out to the car and grab a snack. So I walked mile three and now had cramps. I was getting very frustrated that my body was not happy so I stopped for a restroom break and was determined to finish. Came back out and was able to run my final 1.5 miles.

When I was finished I felt terrific and ready to take on anything. I was energized all day. I did stop and reflect that my morning was a great example of everyday life. Sometimes we hit so many bumps and roadblocks a long the way that we quit. I somehow stayed determined to get to the end and was greatly rewarded with tons of energy and positive emotions for the rest of the day. How often do you quit too soon? What would be possible if you didn't?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

more

I am constantly reminded that when my ego or judgement get engaged it takes my emotional well being down FAST. It takes awareness and practice to notice where we are emotionally and why. There are many ways to clear once it has happened. Deep breathing, barefoot outside on the soil, potting soil being grasped in your hands, clearing with "St. Germain and the
Violet Flame" are just a few.

However, what can we do to stay in our place of joy, happiness and adventure? I am still on that journey along with my clients. It is first noticing the minute we are pulled away from feeling good. Second deciding the minute we notice, what would we like to do about it. This will be different for each of us and it takes experimenting. It may be as simple as saying, "No", in your head or out loud and doing a rewind of what it is to not engage in the negativity. Sometimes it is about asking for a do over to just clean up the situation. What will you come up with?

Friday, March 20, 2009

More noticing

It's been an interesting week of emotional processing. The Universe is testing me on staying grounded and remembering to let others have their journey. I CAN stay grounded and on my own path. I choose to live in hopefulness, optimism, happiness and joy.

When feeling lost all I have to do is reconnect with my inner child and ask her what she needs at that moment. It really fun to see what shows up. For example, yesterday it was to just do one of the things I love, sing. I got on You Tube and found, "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story and belted it out while dancing around the room. That certainly brought me back to joy!

How often do all of you actually take time to check in with your inner self or child to see what they need? My clients and I find so many things that bring us joy and put us back in alignment with spirit. Try it.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Universe has certainly got a sense of humor. I noticed as I was meditating this morning that I could feel my energy was low I was not connected to joy the way I was hoping to. I could feel a heaviness around my third eye area. As I was pondering how to release this feeling I heard a small little fart from my dog in the next room. How funny that it put a grin on my face and lifted my spirits as I felt my soul start to giggle and I was once again reminded not to take life so seriously.

So get over yourself and allow yourself to feel the joy of each day. Remove those people and things that drain energy from you. Surround yourself with joy, laughter and people that are your cheerleaders. Find your joy within...get quiet and breathe!!